There are so many scams going around at the moment it’s hard to keep up with them.
I put some furniture for sale on Done Deal and received a text from ‘Linda Toni.’ I was immediately suspicious when she said was going to buy the furniture without even seeing it.
Here’s what she said:
On Fri, Nov 6, 2015 at 5:13 AM, Linda Toni <firstname.lastname@example.org> wrote:
I will arrange the pickup … With the issue of my details,transferring the name of ownership and signing of all paperwork will be done by the pick up agent so you don’t have to worry about that.First do you have a PayPal account for the payment?
So of course I provided my paypal address right away – email@example.com and received the following response promptly.
I have just completed the transfer and you should have gotten the confirmation email from paypal already… So i would be expecting to receive the address where the pick up would be made and i made an additional payment €480 for the Shipping Agent Pick Up Fee and i am sure you noticed that, according to paypal’s policy you’ll have to send the extra amount to the Transport Company through Western Union right away,and then send the Western Union Information to PayPal for verification, so the transaction can be finalized… Here is the info you need to send the fee to the Shipping Agent through Western Union…
Name : Owen Dexter
Address: 4 Swan Lane
Post Code: EC4R 3BF
Country: United Kingdom.
All other documentations should be prepared by my Pick Up Agent during pick-up. I will advice you to check your inbox or spam/junk folder for the paypal confirmation email if you can’t find it in your inbox …
It’s Nice Doing Business With You.
I expect your response soon.
Barely able to contain my excitement I emailed her back immediately:
This is all absolutely spiffingly wonderful. One can’t wait to get ones fluffy little hands on the money. I am going to spend it wisely and buy myself a small unicorn with a large horn which I am going to keep in my garden with my seven purple dragons.
I am sure you will enjoy sitting on the furniture at least as much as the furniture will enjoy being underneath your bottom.
You will be dancing with joy when you discover the small family of rats which have built a nest inside the sofa and I am sure you will enjoy relaxing with them.
They are rather cute in their own ratty little way – there’s something about the way their little noses twitch when they sit beside you as you watch telly – I find they particularly enjoy Eastenders – the omnibus edition although the largest rat (I call him Arnold) has taken a bit of a shine to Coronation street but only when David Platt’s in it.
You don’t have to feed the little darlings by the way.
I found they were quite happy munching on the bits of mouldy biscuits, half eaten sweets, chewing gum and old paper hankies (from when one had a rather nasty nasal infection) that are lodged between the seat cushions.
They also enjoy a jolly decent wine – don’t bother clearing away your crystal after a good old session on the sofa as they will be licked clean by morning.
Do not worry about the brown marks on the armchairs as they are just stains from when my great danes had the scutters after breaking into my poitin still and drinking it dry.
The black marks are just burns from when uncle Archie’s bong exploded and I think you will agree they add character to the suite.
Be careful when you use the recliner as sometimes it can tip up suddenly and it can be embarrassing finding yourself lying on your back with your legs in the air – especially when one is going commando in ones rah-rah skirt.
If this is a concern to you I would suggest wearing tracksuit bottoms with a decent pair of bicycle clips.
I am so glad to hear that you are enjoying doing business with me as I am enjoying doing business with you immensely.
Here is the address from which your shipping agent can collect the furniture.
10 Downing Street
Yours ever so muchly and utterly sincerely
Done Deal advise that ‘potential buyers’ who ask you to email them are doing that so they can scam you. They send fake Paypal receipts to make you think you have been paid – be warned.